You know, I will always care about you. But it’s not you, it’s me. You see I’ve changed. I used to just want social sharing, and seeing what my friends were up to, and gossiping. I used to like the sense of being connected. And random news. It’s not that I don’t love you, but yes, yes, it’s me.
You see I just find you increasingly annoying. And — god, I can’t believe I’m saying this — but you’re manipulative too. And seriously, do you have to always go on about Donald Trump and Elon Musk? I mean who cares? Don’t you realise there’s a bigger world out there? Don’t you realise one is ill and the other is using your platform to pump his own stock? I mean, he’s a genius, as he himself would say, right?
But look, I think you will always be special to me — I mean you were my first long term relationship with a social network. But honestly, it just can’t go on like this. Every time I read your news feed, it gets me down. You only ever talk about how much better life is for other people. Don’t you realize that they only talk about the good bits. Don’t you see the cognative bias there? And the entire world doesn’t revolve around Silicon Valley, you know. And frankly, I just don’t wanna hear about it all the time. And yes, maybe I’m old but I miss how it used to be. Remember, with the internet and web pages?
You’re probably right, I might regret this. But I’m breaking up with you. So goodbye, Facebook.